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Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML

#5719092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39769) - you deserved it (3548)

On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45084) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

#18503694
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (3548)

On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56229) - you deserved it (3548)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

#2820229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61043) - you deserved it (3547)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by dontevenassk (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

#14716762
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30719) - you deserved it (3547)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

#16734603
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (3547)

On 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

#19533059
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25144) - you deserved it (3547) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

#20638884
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45630) - you deserved it (3547)

On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41958) - you deserved it (3547)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42825) - you deserved it (3547)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

#4763685
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (3546)

On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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