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Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45658) - you deserved it (3107)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48929) - you deserved it (3107)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

#5819831
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (3107)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by Chensticles - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (3107)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

#19769675
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (3107)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:01am - love - by ugly (woman) - Australia

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (3107)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55266) - you deserved it (3107)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

#1078631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68104) - you deserved it (3106)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

#17136219
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28803) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by KatrinaKitten - United States (New York)

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26113) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

#18712372
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (3105)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (3105)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)



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