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Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

#2206074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46228) - you deserved it (3452)

On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22291) - you deserved it (3452)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, I found out that my engagement ring was actually my husband's ex-fiancée's. FML

#17562855
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30387) - you deserved it (3452)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by llord - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (3453)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21514) - you deserved it (3451)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53743) - you deserved it (3451)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML

#4947813
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38682) - you deserved it (3451)

On 08/31/2009 at 3:37am - animals - by ahdeadcats - United States (California)

Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML

#5719092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (3451)

On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

#13934575
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (3451)

On 11/22/2010 at 6:33am - health - by can't breathe - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML

#21001557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36083) - you deserved it (3451)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by blackcarnation - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42328) - you deserved it (3451)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (3450)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML

#6287406
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (3450)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:34pm - animals - by PuppyLove2009 (woman) - United States (California)



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