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Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

#6730698
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (3350)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

#20802342
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55336) - you deserved it (3350)

On 07/25/2013 at 1:47am - love - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50310) - you deserved it (3350)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML

#4947813
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37558) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/31/2009 at 3:37am - animals - by ahdeadcats - United States (California)

Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

#5645796
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (3349)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by walker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (3349)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48963) - you deserved it (3349)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom, sister, and I were talking about a friend's girlfriend. My sister's opinion of her was that she was cute but not hot. My mom agreed, saying that she didn't think that someone without boobs could EVER be hot. She then looked at me and said "no offense." FML

#3341978
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46029) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/29/2009 at 7:07pm - misc - by Atomic_Tangerine (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (3348)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

#20058791
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (3348)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States



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