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Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

#6517705
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30292) - you deserved it (3081)

On 11/29/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

#15887024
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32194) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/22/2011 at 2:43pm - work - by Ashleigh - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17834) - you deserved it (3081)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

#19860817
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23863) - you deserved it (3081)

On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (3080)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

#13746
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42632) - you deserved it (3079)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by klv8 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

#18381687
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (3080)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

#4421070
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (3078)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Ghana (Volta)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (3078)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

#19990926
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20584) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm - kids - by oink oink fuck off - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

#20021994
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17524) - you deserved it (3078)

On 08/15/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43678) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (3078)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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