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Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

#12188597
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48743) - you deserved it (3563)

On 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by Richmond24 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (3563)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34324) - you deserved it (3563)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

#19726034
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (3563)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:47am - health - by Monkey253100 - France

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24389) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50554) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML

#3208136
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61327) - you deserved it (3562)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by dazedandconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53098) - you deserved it (3561)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60407) - you deserved it (3561)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (3561)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)



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