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Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (3277)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

#15069321
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm - money - by MBC - United States

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

#16776471
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (3277)

On 06/21/2011 at 3:08am - health - by Caeru (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (3277)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41051) - you deserved it (3277)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37516) - you deserved it (3277)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

#21053382
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mayotte

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

#21136773
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42664) - you deserved it (3277)

On 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

#21309261
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (3277)

On 12/01/2014 at 2:30am - money - by shitty candles - United States (Washington)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29893) - you deserved it (3279)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25828) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (3276)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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