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Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML

#20775505
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59123) - you deserved it (3753)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:20am - work - by shouldbehappyiguess (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

#21425623
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (3753)

On 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm - animals - by patient_mom - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

#21460557
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (3753)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm - kids - by shit.jpg (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34589) - you deserved it (3752)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was accidentally tagged in a photo of a group of people by a 'friend' on Facebook. She later corrected it, apparently everyone had already seen the tag and decided that the comment box below was a great opportunity to discuss how none of them would ever be caught dead hanging out with me. FML

#2885817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49829) - you deserved it (3752)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Coolkid. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

#4069645
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55899) - you deserved it (3752)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by scarred (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

#8395812
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (3752)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:31am - work - by buttcrack (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

#13158291
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45937) - you deserved it (3752)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

#13558401
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29340) - you deserved it (3752)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:22am - animals - by poorhamster - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (3752)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad came home and said that he was so inspired by hip hop dancers on TV that he decided to take a hip hop dance class. He signed up for the class that my girlfriend teaches. FML

#17201461
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35725) - you deserved it (3752)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:14am - misc - by Username - United States



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