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Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

#16643815
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43352) - you deserved it (3380)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by Uhh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML

#20611147
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48075) - you deserved it (3380)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

#4069645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51792) - you deserved it (3379)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by scarred (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. You would think he could at least spell my name right while ending our relationship. FML

#14494022
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (3379)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:41am - love - by bunnyyy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37551) - you deserved it (3379)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50022) - you deserved it (3378)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

#21073158
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40264) - you deserved it (3378)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by SchoolFMLs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3377)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32774) - you deserved it (3377)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

#20590768
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69537) - you deserved it (3377)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41263) - you deserved it (3377)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

#17586338
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)



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