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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I received a fine for leaving my car at the airport. Each day it's been there, they added an additional $50. My car was stolen two weeks ago. FML

#18281505
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23879) - you deserved it (1490)

On 11/18/2011 at 2:24pm - misc - by Hunterisawesome - Reserved

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

#19966736
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (1490)

On 07/21/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Closingwild - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

#19986926
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16889) - you deserved it (1490)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13134) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

#19998610
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16705) - you deserved it (1489)

On 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

#19667339
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17036) - you deserved it (1489)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

#20161213
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20642) - you deserved it (1489)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Mmkay1515 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18887) - you deserved it (1489)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (1490)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to confess to my best friend that I am madly in love with her. I called her up only to find her crying. She was upset that she might be pregnant with some guy. FML

#389
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25206) - you deserved it (1488)

On 11/25/2008 at 1:05pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

#6584948
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27811) - you deserved it (1488)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my dad came out of a hotel bathroom with nothing but a wash-cloth over his crotch and said "look! this place has cotton loin clothes" in front of my wedding party. FML

#7706171
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (1488)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by indianaxx - Sent from mobile version



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

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