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Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36373) - you deserved it (3464)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

#2072486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58901) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (3463)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (3463)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

#13008973
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (3462)

On 09/11/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by fmlimoverit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49619) - you deserved it (3462)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

#21053382
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42527) - you deserved it (3462)

On 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mayotte

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. All I got was him stopping by for a quickie before he went into work. FML

#21418124
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/30/2015 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by Disappointed - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML



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