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Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38242) - you deserved it (3385)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (3385)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

#5993337
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (3384)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

#15917081
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34312) - you deserved it (3384)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML

#17159323
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29271) - you deserved it (3383)

On 07/18/2011 at 3:09am - misc - by fthislyfe (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

#17965522
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34861) - you deserved it (3383)

On 10/12/2011 at 2:11am - love - by anonymous - Canada

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44272) - you deserved it (3383)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46868) - you deserved it (3383)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49881) - you deserved it (3383)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38208) - you deserved it (3383)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (3383)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiance told me that he no longer loves me, that he still has feelings for an ex. The wedding is off and he needs the ring back to give to the right woman. FML

#6280
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70777) - you deserved it (3382)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:08pm - love - by nolongerengaged (woman) - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (3382)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)



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