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Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

#2140497
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48312) - you deserved it (3117)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by pa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (3117)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

#11163519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34529) - you deserved it (3117)

On 06/13/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Yup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31864) - you deserved it (3117)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (3117)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42470) - you deserved it (3117)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80231) - you deserved it (3117)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

#3611862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53163) - you deserved it (3116)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36724) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

#8686937
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25765) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/27/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by msmusiclover7 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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