Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

#19339919
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15730) - you deserved it (3282)

On 03/24/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Stephen (man) - Sweden

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (3282)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

#8443272
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22545) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you deserved it (3281)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53406) - you deserved it (3281)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

#20072880
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18426) - you deserved it (3281)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40198) - you deserved it (3281)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (3281)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

#21359275
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37659) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

#2206074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44020) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55698) - you deserved it (3280)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

#13847372
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (3280)

On 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by vansboy -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: