Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (3382)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (3382)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48765) - you deserved it (3382)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40380) - you deserved it (3382)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (3383)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

#4840344
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77204) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (3381)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML

#12767492
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34250) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (3381)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

#19725965
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (3382)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

#20567033
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47230) - you deserved it (3381)

On 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by unknown - France

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42189) - you deserved it (3381)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28170) - you deserved it (3381)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: