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Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (3169)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31189) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18099) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44079) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (3168)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

#685
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19536) - you deserved it (3167)

On 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm - kids - by lilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend's mother who lives with us decided that since I work from home, it would be a good idea for her to stay home and keep me company. "Keeping me company" includes ordering me to make her food, gossiping non stop, and ridiculing me for not being the woman that she always saw her son marrying. FML

#14664315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29289) - you deserved it (3167)

On 01/21/2011 at 5:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

#16929999
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31329) - you deserved it (3167)

On 07/01/2011 at 12:15am - health - by nico (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (3167)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

#20857413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35775) - you deserved it (3167)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)

Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

#5775880
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (3166)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22330) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore



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