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Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56407) - you deserved it (3064)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

#20113138
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (3063)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30561) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

#14867901
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

#17253464
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (3062)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm - money - by tim12345 - United States

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19339) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32028) - you deserved it (3061)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (3061)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41333) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you deserved it (3060)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

#14621087
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (3060)

On 01/18/2011 at 12:05am - love - by MCKilllerrr - United States (Texas)



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