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Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

#21396530
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (3762)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by notmysistersbf (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

#13972455
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3761)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31808) - you deserved it (3761)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

#19907709
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (3761)

On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

#21158368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43229) - you deserved it (3761)

On 05/31/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

#21313753
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (3761)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:58pm - love - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML

#21263186
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37604) - you deserved it (3761)

On 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by WhiteCaribbean (man) - Saint Lucia (Castries)

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

#21492969
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (3761)

On 11/15/2015 at 9:34pm - misc - by Potted - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

#20782409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56663) - you deserved it (3761)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57873) - you deserved it (3760)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

#8395812
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:31am - work - by buttcrack (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML



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