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Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (3077)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

#15680012
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36782) - you deserved it (3077)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by kharrington - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (3077)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26658) - you deserved it (3077)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25963) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32795) - you deserved it (3076)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

#20021994
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/15/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (3075)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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