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Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (3007)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (3007)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (3007)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

#20564887
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35291) - you deserved it (3007)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:37am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

#5194159
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36523) - you deserved it (3006)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by sucksforme (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (3006)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (3006)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

#7256679
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42885) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35861) - you deserved it (3005)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28837) - you deserved it (3005)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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