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Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (3117)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

#21128831
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41169) - you deserved it (3117)

On 05/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by thanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20694) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

#3611862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53159) - you deserved it (3116)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

#8686937
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25763) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/27/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by msmusiclover7 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

#13567439
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by ugly me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52109) - you deserved it (3117)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (3116)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous co-worker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added the color was fitting perfectly with my acne... I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML

#4835743
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/26/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by 1nfected (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (3115)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27205) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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