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Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (3400)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

#13155074
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18127) - you deserved it (3399)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:36am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

#14549373
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39829) - you deserved it (3399)

On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

#5601123
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33992) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa

Today, my step-mom informed me that she and my dad will not be attending my wedding because they will be at a NASCAR race. FML

#12663979
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43121) - you deserved it (3398)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25pm - misc - by puppielover - United States

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43437) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

#18060058
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36365) - you deserved it (3397)

On 10/24/2011 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (3397)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32526) - you deserved it (3398)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)



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