Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24690) - you deserved it (3556)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29242) - you deserved it (3556)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (3555)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (3555)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (3555)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (3555)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (3555)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (3554)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (3554)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71086) - you deserved it (3553)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML

#6095339
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (3553)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36006) - you deserved it (3553)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (3553)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: