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Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

#20828988
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (3469)

On 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm - animals - by W...T...F (woman) - United States

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (3469)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

#6565832
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27667) - you deserved it (3468)

On 12/02/2009 at 8:27am - work - by ostler (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML

#20714826
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51607) - you deserved it (3468)

On 06/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anoymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56270) - you deserved it (3468)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42333) - you deserved it (3468)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

#4900941
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46031) - you deserved it (3467)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:48am - kids - by littlemisstiny (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54735) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on my balcony reading a book. My upstairs neighbors thought that would be a good time to water their flowers. I'm now drenched in water, as is my book. FML

#16103716
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:05am - misc - by Nelson - Sweden

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

#16687724
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41506) - you deserved it (3467)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Ari (man) - United States (California)

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

#19552915
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (3467)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46866) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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