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Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (2561)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63535) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

#6461991
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (2561)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

#7193385
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (2561)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:36am - health - by Srain (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (2561)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

#18899137
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33722) - you deserved it (2561)

On 01/24/2012 at 2:50pm - love - by sickandtiredofit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21309) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

#19899821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (2561)

On 07/06/2012 at 12:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18756) - you deserved it (2561)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29776) - you deserved it (2561)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

#101471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (2560)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:14am - work - by Noname (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66052) - you deserved it (2560)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2560)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -



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