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Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32348) - you deserved it (3301)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (3301)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21354) - you deserved it (3301)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

#14552132
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (3300)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (3300)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

#19884306
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30277) - you deserved it (3300)

On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

#21356583
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32198) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

#2820229
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57800) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by dontevenassk (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked: "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

#10918883
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (3301)

On 06/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Kagura - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (3299)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

#6054413
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37568) - you deserved it (3298)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by KMack (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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