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Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

#20917563
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46056) - you deserved it (3773)

On 10/12/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (3773)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26376) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

#17407714
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32545) - you deserved it (3772)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by yupppp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview. I have major OCD, and I had to sit in a room with a man covered in cat hair, struggling to even survive for an hour and a half. FML

#19368838
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20812) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/29/2012 at 7:13am - misc - by toryzhere - Canada

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34857) - you deserved it (3772)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML

#4523037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56216) - you deserved it (3771)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by haha247 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33549) - you deserved it (3771)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (3771)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

#21175721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37466) - you deserved it (3771)

On 06/15/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

#21473175
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21630) - you deserved it (3771)

On 09/27/2015 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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