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Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

#20072880
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (3447)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46693) - you deserved it (3447)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. All I got was him stopping by for a quickie before he went into work. FML

#21418124
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (3447)

On 05/30/2015 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by Disappointed - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

#13894998
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (3446)

On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

#11889011
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37113) - you deserved it (3446)

On 07/15/2010 at 12:12am - love - by sunkissedberries - United States

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

#14558883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (3446)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

#14427516
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (3446)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

#19156004
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (3446)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43748) - you deserved it (3446)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML

#6287406
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:34pm - animals - by PuppyLove2009 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

#14794678
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26094) - you deserved it (3445)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:05am - intimacy - by LonelyBoy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46589) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

#7333121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28573) - you deserved it (3444)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:45am - love - by handlin (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)



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