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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

#6461991
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (2560)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66042) - you deserved it (2560)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (2560)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16552) - you deserved it (2559)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

#101471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (2559)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:14am - work - by Noname (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

#4562834
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34180) - you deserved it (2559)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Tgreject (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

#6760578
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22726) - you deserved it (2559)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Scat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (2559)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

#12899582
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (2558)

On 09/04/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

#18898578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (2558)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (2558)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, my dream finally came true, I slept with the woman I love. Sadly, after that I got friend-zoned, because she's in love with my brother, and she wanted my help to get to him. FML

#19406432
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2558)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:41pm - love - by Sociallyawkwardpenguin (man) - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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