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Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19329) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (3061)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

#17253464
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm - money - by tim12345 - United States

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (3060)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

#14621087
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33807) - you deserved it (3060)

On 01/18/2011 at 12:05am - love - by MCKilllerrr - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38989) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41304) - you deserved it (3059)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (3059)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45262) - you deserved it (3059)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (3058)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)



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