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Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42902) - you deserved it (3053)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44844) - you deserved it (3053)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

#2057571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (3052)

On 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by trgtyo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56461) - you deserved it (3052)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (3052)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22056) - you deserved it (3052)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (3052)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML

#915379
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63525) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (3051)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that I have to block my number to get my own mother to take my phone calls. FML

#6037423
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29721) - you deserved it (3051)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Slayeddd (woman) - United States

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (3051)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (3051)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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