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Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17628) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (2799)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (2799)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad gave me a football signed by my favourite football player. It would've been great, except that I saw my dad sign it in front of me. The worst part is that he denies doing it. FML

#13230850
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (2799)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by bibobobonnor (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

#13801258
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (2799)

On 11/11/2010 at 11:53am - work - by khaelian - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41306) - you deserved it (2799)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

#21022962
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (2799)

On 01/09/2014 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (2799)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

#21465
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (2798)

On 02/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by NoWedding (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having a serious discussion with my girlfriend of 11 months. I broke the news that I was diagnosed with Lymphoma and I needed her support through my treatments. Ten minutes after, I receive a text saying that she can't endure the pain and stress that I'm causing her, and that we're done. FML

#4418486
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61914) - you deserved it (2798)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Very_Bad_Luck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

#10862777
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (2798)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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