Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML

#19887553
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31815) - you deserved it (3065)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (3065)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

#20133630
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19980) - you deserved it (3065)

On 10/25/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by sadbride - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39866) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30390) - you deserved it (3065)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47987) - you deserved it (3065)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46306) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59475) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

#14191427
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm - kids - by crazycora (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (3064)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (3064)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21116) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

#13357466
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you deserved it (3063)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by toyotasmash - United States



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: