Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

#21133376
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42833) - you deserved it (3148)

On 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Jammu and Kashmir)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25881) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (3147)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML

#15632793
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34049) - you deserved it (3147)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:15am - love - by lonely (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

#18610596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27097) - you deserved it (3147)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49897) - you deserved it (3147)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46975) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21836) - you deserved it (3146)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (3146)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

#16757277
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (3146)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by firethorn - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (3146)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42256) - you deserved it (3146)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I realized how nice it was that, after moving into my ground-floor apartment, I no longer have to worry about being too loud walking on the floor at night. Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbors do not have any qualms about shouting or stomping their feet loudly at night, either. FML

#20865605
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34578) - you deserved it (3146)

On 09/03/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: