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Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41082) - you deserved it (3386)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41190) - you deserved it (3386)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36990) - you deserved it (3386)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (3386)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33384) - you deserved it (3386)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

#2920786
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (3385)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States

Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML

#13956105
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (3385)

On 11/23/2010 at 11:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31766) - you deserved it (3385)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

#15084705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26191) - you deserved it (3385)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (3385)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

#19779965
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (3385)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:42am - money - by bad date - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (3385)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

#15917081
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (3384)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)



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