Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

#18466137
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (3415)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by O__o (woman) - United States

Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML

#19515625
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (3415)

On 04/23/2012 at 5:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (3415)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35901) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

#2522
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (3414)

On 01/25/2009 at 11:47am - love - by thesporkhop - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML

#4451238
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65006) - you deserved it (3414)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:57pm - work - by aw-wtf (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25618) - you deserved it (3414)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (3414)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39038) - you deserved it (3414)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (3414)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (3414)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44362) - you deserved it (3413)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: