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Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27575) - you deserved it (3488)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

#18515072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (3488)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46150) - you deserved it (3488)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML

#21116653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33876) - you deserved it (3488)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by you'vegotmail(not) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47250) - you deserved it (3488)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33628) - you deserved it (3488)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML

#2376040
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51120) - you deserved it (3487)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:51pm - love - by loserface23 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I ordered without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

#6481
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46210) - you deserved it (3487)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by BRELLA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

#14271579
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39730) - you deserved it (3487)

On 12/20/2010 at 11:15am - love - by pinkfloyd777 -

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

#15930581
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (3487)

On 04/26/2011 at 2:18am - love - by SadGuy - United Kingdom

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35836) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML



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