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Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

#21095237
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by bloodyhell - United States (Colorado)

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (3084)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44399) - you deserved it (3083)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32545) - you deserved it (3083)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (3083)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (3083)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (3083)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML

#12682648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33255) - you deserved it (3082)

On 08/22/2010 at 1:02pm - love - by mollyeyers - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

#685
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (3081)

On 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm - kids - by lilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

#7278236
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (3081)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

#14160868
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27861) - you deserved it (3081)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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