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Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27214) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45987) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

#17388781
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm - kids - by Tabby (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

#19633395
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (3460)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (3460)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49590) - you deserved it (3459)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21473) - you deserved it (3459)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (3458)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

#20875436
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47433) - you deserved it (3458)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (3459)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

#13008973
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (3457)

On 09/11/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by fmlimoverit - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé, the love of my life, informed me that he proposed because he was sure I'd say no. He was hoping it would lead to our breakup. FML

#16605468
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43362) - you deserved it (3457)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:47am - love - by Username - United States (Massachusetts)



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