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Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (3154)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

#20799037
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44414) - you deserved it (3154)

On 07/23/2013 at 5:51am - love - by foreveralone (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

#2355217
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47920) - you deserved it (3153)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm - misc - by Jdub (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35641) - you deserved it (3153)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

#20021994
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18122) - you deserved it (3153)

On 08/15/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (3153)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

#20976772
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by JD - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (3153)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31132) - you deserved it (3152)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

#15999869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (3152)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (3152)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (3152)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (3152)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)



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