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Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you deserved it (3229)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

#6224810
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (3228)

On 11/09/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (3228)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (3228)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

#16605766
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (3228)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Mirorbo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML

#18147280
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (3228)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by bethany - Australia

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (3228)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (3228)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

#21310455
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35024) - you deserved it (3228)

On 12/02/2014 at 11:05pm - misc - by clumsyandpoor (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

#5485912
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by bachelor (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40470) - you deserved it (3227)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20435) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33414) - you deserved it (3227) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)



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