Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38384) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

#21138754
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (3039)

On 05/13/2014 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by way of making me an account on an online dating site. He then emailed me the account information and left. FML

#15308003
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/14/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

#20838741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50084) - you deserved it (3038)

On 08/15/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by Anonymous - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (3037)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (3037)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (3037)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (3037)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

#21121715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36673) - you deserved it (3037)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Angus)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: