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Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

#4900941
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49871) - you deserved it (3799)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:48am - kids - by littlemisstiny (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML

#17325823
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (3799)

On 07/31/2011 at 11:09pm - love - by notsomuch (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

#20115908
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23909) - you deserved it (3799)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (3798)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML

#17691004
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39863) - you deserved it (3798)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:53pm - misc - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

#20992530
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46280) - you deserved it (3798)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by bnc (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (3798)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48205) - you deserved it (3798)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (3798)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

#21423389
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (3798)

On 06/09/2015 at 2:39pm - animals - by dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61782) - you deserved it (3797)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML

#14232649
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (3797)

On 12/17/2010 at 4:48am - health - by dmsmcd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to register for college classes with my mom. Upon leaving, my mom confessed to me that she thinks I will get pregnant and drop out before my freshman year is over. FML



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