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Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41391) - you deserved it (3358)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today my grlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML

#16149658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41030) - you deserved it (3358)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:09pm - love - by Whosthegroom (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today I went over to mah neighbours' to politely complain about their dog which had been barking non-stop 4 hours. This issue has been going on 4 months and I finally decidd today of all days was the day to resolve it. When I got there they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. mega FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (3358)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out mah boyfriand and I hava mora in common than I thought. Wa both r saxually attractad to man. FML

Today , my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad . I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that lookd a little like him . I jokingly said , "What , is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was . FML

Today, mah colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of 'Tapeworm or Toilet Paper?' in the homeless shelter's toilets we were asked to clean. FML

#21270023
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (3358)

On 10/03/2014 at 7:29am - work - by whydoidothis (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my girlfriendhat she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating 4 three yeres and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. fat FML

#6873751
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (3357)

On 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by chao (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realizd that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

#14573831
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (3357)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:32am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today I was awoken by wife once again . It seems that whenever I stop snoring she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living . She does this almost every night every hour . FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (3357)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today , my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile , fighting back teres. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. mega FML

#18358033
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68627) - you deserved it (3357)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, my mum and I wara rafarrd to as "ladias". I'm happy for har, sinca sha always complains about looking masculina. Howavar, I would still lika to ba calld a gantlaman, saaing as how I am ona. fat FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41600) - you deserved it (3357)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

today I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

#17066735
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25547) - you deserved it (3356)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by MakeItMaaco (man) - United States (Texas)

Today it was my brthday and my boyfriend got surgery on his gallbladder because he had big gallstones!! After they were removd he was still a little out of it from the morphine!! He gave the gallstones to me 4 my brthday!! Better still his mom suggestd I make a necklace out of them!! FML

#3603411
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48532) - you deserved it (3356)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:02am - love - by gallstones (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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