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Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

#20810418
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43943) - you deserved it (3204)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (3204)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (3204)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife of four years confessed to me that she only married me for the money. FML

#8852527
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30541) - you deserved it (3203)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by mrrichkid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22021) - you deserved it (3203)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37154) - you deserved it (3203)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61304) - you deserved it (3202)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

#10748228
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (3202)

On 05/25/2010 at 12:44am - misc - by Laptop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (3203)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

#12858373
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

#16050622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (3202)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64149) - you deserved it (3202)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54265) - you deserved it (3202)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)



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