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Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (3333)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML

#21095673
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36271) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40928) - you deserved it (3333)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

#14444191
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (3332)

On 01/02/2011 at 9:58pm - work - by sleepy (woman) - Norway

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (3332)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43239) - you deserved it (3331)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate revealed that the reason he's so grumpy is because he hasn't gotten laid in a year. I'm his only female friend, and the entire time he talked to me, he stared at my chest. FML

#5923040
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20447) - you deserved it (3331)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

#14417196
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45619) - you deserved it (3331)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

#12187023
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31398) - you deserved it (3330)

On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (3330)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (3331)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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