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Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20185) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

#19827444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13026) - you deserved it (2599)

On 06/22/2012 at 2:02am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (2598)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (2598)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I missed my University entrance exam because of heavy traffic. I was stuck at one intersection for over an hour. The real kicker? It took me less than 10 minutes to drive home. FML

#5942414
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27854) - you deserved it (2598)

On 10/22/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by roadrage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML

#6616832
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (2597)

On 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

#11636469
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32379) - you deserved it (2597)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:57pm - misc - by Emily - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

#16671124
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36749) - you deserved it (2597)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:07am - health - by Username - United States (California)

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

#19182487
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24155) - you deserved it (2597)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:41pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20290) - you deserved it (2597)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

#20547926
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (2597)

On 03/17/2013 at 4:12pm - love - by need an appendickectomy (woman) - Finland

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (2597)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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