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Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19219) - you deserved it (2589)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (2588)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

#20647971
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44331) - you deserved it (2588)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (2587)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

#17471582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (2587)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29121) - you deserved it (2587)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

#20533403
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25047) - you deserved it (2587)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50567) - you deserved it (2587)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56882) - you deserved it (2586)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

#6497491
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (2586)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working with the kid I babysit for. We were out and he complained that he was hungry. I spent my very last $2 on chicken nuggets for him and a coffee for myself. Just as I sat down, he knocked over my coffee, spilling it into his chicken nuggets. Then he cried for over an hour. FML

#7312861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/13/2010 at 12:29am - kids - by bern5555 (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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