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Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

#14731317
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (3334)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he "can't date someone who supports the war". We started dating because he thought I looked cute in my uniform. FML

#18066351
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30645) - you deserved it (3334)

On 10/24/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by soldiergirl - United States

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (3334)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

#5601325
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33600) - you deserved it (3333)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

#20039608
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18248) - you deserved it (3333)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54284) - you deserved it (3333)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38059) - you deserved it (3333)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML

#21095673
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36271) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40927) - you deserved it (3333)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

#14444191
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (3332)

On 01/02/2011 at 9:58pm - work - by sleepy (woman) - Norway

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32032) - you deserved it (3332)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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