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Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33804) - you deserved it (3801)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

#18085773
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30387) - you deserved it (3800)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (3800)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (3799)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

#4900941
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49863) - you deserved it (3799)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:48am - kids - by littlemisstiny (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML

#5466337
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73528) - you deserved it (3799)

On 09/25/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

#21362430
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (3799)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:50am - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

#20992530
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46278) - you deserved it (3798)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by bnc (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48204) - you deserved it (3798)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (3798)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

#21423389
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (3798)

On 06/09/2015 at 2:39pm - animals - by dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (3797)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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