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Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35441) - you deserved it (3216)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (3216)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML

#15221158
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34660) - you deserved it (3216)

On 03/06/2011 at 7:50pm - health - by milkndstufff (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML

#21004056
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35260) - you deserved it (3216)

On 12/24/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by holiday from hell - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40948) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33547) - you deserved it (3215)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30157) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

#20024649
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59962) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (3215)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore



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