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Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my Mum and Dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML

#17508765
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (3292)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:11am - misc - by JLO (man) - Australia

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

#16687724
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38977) - you deserved it (3292)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Ari (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (3292)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30282) - you deserved it (3292)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

#396
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (3292)

On 11/27/2008 at 12:30am - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

#14882108
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (3291)

On 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm - work - by hushnow - United States

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40735) - you deserved it (3291)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37760) - you deserved it (3291)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (3291)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

#16418621
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33722) - you deserved it (3290)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (3290)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (3290)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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