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Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39727) - you deserved it (3162)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (3161)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (3161)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

#21253110
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (3161)

On 09/06/2014 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

#3469225
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (3160)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25648) - you deserved it (3160)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

#16101682
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (3160)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by theyarefarapart -

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

#16697911
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (3160)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (3160)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (3160)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36151) - you deserved it (3160)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (3159)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was playing basketball in our company gym. I took a shot from half court, and at that exact moment, an executive walked into the gym with an important potential client. My shot bounced off the side of the backboard, off some bleachers, and right into the client's head. FML

#13263199
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (3159)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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