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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

#14549373
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37792) - you deserved it (3244)

On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

#15252326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47288) - you deserved it (3244)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by sosad -

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (3243)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (3242)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (3242)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50698) - you deserved it (3242)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

#21255855
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29947) - you deserved it (3242)

On 09/10/2014 at 6:40pm - health - by skinnyguy23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30563) - you deserved it (3241)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

#4709917
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36985) - you deserved it (3241)

On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (3241)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

#3228837
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39828) - you deserved it (3240)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:43am - work - by donezo (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML

#15562306
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34618) - you deserved it (3240)

On 03/30/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anon_a_mouse (man) - Reserved



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