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Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24622) - you deserved it (3218)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39742) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36568) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (3218)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

#4647409
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45050) - you deserved it (3217)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (3217)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37672) - you deserved it (3217)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

#11866175
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37182) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/14/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Depressed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35441) - you deserved it (3216)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML

#21004056
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (3216)

On 12/24/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by holiday from hell - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (3215)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (3215)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -



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