Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

#15550416
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (3807)

On 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (3807)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

#142
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64176) - you deserved it (3806)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML

#16837631
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30642) - you deserved it (3806)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:11pm - kids - by Username - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

#17729404
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (3806)

On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (3806)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

#20572695
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45624) - you deserved it (3806)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45964) - you deserved it (3806)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

#21162663
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45907) - you deserved it (3807)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (3805)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40989) - you deserved it (3805)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

#18085773
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30461) - you deserved it (3805)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: