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Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20422) - you deserved it (3226)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

#16371411
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (3226)

On 05/27/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

#16878722
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (3226)

On 06/27/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by Nice 2 inch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

#20787656
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48390) - you deserved it (3226)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:22am - health - by :-( - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (3226)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out that the acne under my arms was worse then the severe acne on my face. FML

#8557720
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (3225)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:43pm - health - by baconrash - United States (New York)

Today, my step-mom informed me that she and my dad will not be attending my wedding because they will be at a NASCAR race. FML

#12663979
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41003) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25pm - misc - by puppielover - United States

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36330) - you deserved it (3225)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (3225) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

#17535182
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38691) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25890) - you deserved it (3225)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (3224)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)



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