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Today, my roommate revealed that the reason he's so grumpy is because he hasn't gotten laid in a year. I'm his only female friend, and the entire time he talked to me, he stared at my chest. FML

#5923040
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (3438)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

#13321505
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25292) - you deserved it (3438)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (3438)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (3438)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43981) - you deserved it (3438)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (3437)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (3437)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44776) - you deserved it (3437)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15947) - you deserved it (3437)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (3437)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18774) - you deserved it (3437)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

#20509033
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (3437)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by howannoying - Australia (Victoria)



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