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Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

#6351303
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25958) - you deserved it (3810)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by disheshateme (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (3810)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML

#14805618
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37981) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:07am - health - by notafatlump -

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

#18174225
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (3810)

On 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm - health - by panickygrl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

#20737568
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49427) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/20/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by clop clop clopping all the way (man) - United States

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48559) - you deserved it (3810)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the hallway when someone opened a door, smashing it into me. The bump makes it look like I have a third boob. FML

#9158160
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (3809)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:16pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34286) - you deserved it (3809)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

#17620390
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (3809)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by gofixmyhead (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48109) - you deserved it (3809)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49668) - you deserved it (3808)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42275) - you deserved it (3808)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37274) - you deserved it (3808)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)



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