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Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

#20528651
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (3268)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38540) - you deserved it (3268)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

#21272236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32653) - you deserved it (3268)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm - misc - by thenewgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63398) - you deserved it (3267)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

#6748565
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24839) - you deserved it (3267)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:12am - work - by BadKitty42 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20566) - you deserved it (3267)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (3267)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (3267)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (3267)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

#21078463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42419) - you deserved it (3267)

On 03/05/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

#18458740
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (3266)

On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

#17927200
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (3266)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML

#19678004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (3266)

On 05/25/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by whinywiper - Canada



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