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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (3192)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

#16693416
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32803) - you deserved it (3191)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:24am - misc - by RedheadA (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (3191)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

#227236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52467) - you deserved it (3191)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

#5605398
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (3190)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by dannyboy1422 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

#4324727
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45861) - you deserved it (3190)

On 08/06/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Lawrence (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

#15919542
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3190)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

#20480052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (3190)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46482) - you deserved it (3190)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (3190)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

#13339943
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36187) - you deserved it (3189)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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