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Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML

#15768228
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42195) - you deserved it (3352)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by CollegeBoy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

#18847720
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25690) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by iliterallypoopedmyself (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44427) - you deserved it (3352)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

#3159457
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (3351)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (3351)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37735) - you deserved it (3351)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (3350)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

#5035693
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38275) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by pandabear93 - United States (Arizona)



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