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Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (3637)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41249) - you deserved it (3637)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44995) - you deserved it (3637)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31265) - you deserved it (3637)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

#21254331
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39850) - you deserved it (3637)

On 09/08/2014 at 6:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

#4891405
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53630) - you deserved it (3636)

On 08/28/2009 at 8:59pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

#9647002
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43079) - you deserved it (3636)

On 04/05/2010 at 6:14am - misc - by blah. - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

#19139021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (3636)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

#20770351
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45776) - you deserved it (3636)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:48am - health - by insurance lies - United States

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45703) - you deserved it (3636)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

#20923929
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45428) - you deserved it (3637)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm - health - by LegInPieces - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39798) - you deserved it (3636)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

#21040445
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47141) - you deserved it (3636)

On 01/26/2014 at 8:08am - misc - by neighbor - Australia (New South Wales)



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