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Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35099) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (3323)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48034) - you deserved it (3323)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

#4374791
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61394) - you deserved it (3323)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, the elderly lady in front of me had forgotten to pay for her milk. In the spirit of the season, I paid for it and wished her happy holidays. She snatched the milk and gave me an ugly look. Then huffed at me before stomping off. FML

#14048564
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29859) - you deserved it (3322)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by sumerflame07 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (3322)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

#19580069
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (3322)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (3322)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

#20973740
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39001) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm - misc - by fuck me (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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