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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52680) - you deserved it (3830)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49148) - you deserved it (3830)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49072) - you deserved it (3830)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

#19833451
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29083) - you deserved it (3830)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:23am - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML

#21477344
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (3830)

On 10/07/2015 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

#895
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my electricity went out. The electric company said it was because the bill was at least 4 months overdue. Apparently, I have been paying for my roommate to go out and party for weeks. FML

#5790955
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34761) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

#12307637
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35360) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52909) - you deserved it (3829)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46001) - you deserved it (3830)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)



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