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Today, I spent almost $200 on a planetarium show with my boyfriend, who loves astronomy. He said his favorite thing about it was that he could pick his nose without anyone noticing. FML

#17904030
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (3368)

On 10/04/2011 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML

#20699444
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44016) - you deserved it (3369)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by WHOO HOO AIDS (woman) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

#3143801
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43328) - you deserved it (3367)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by stew (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

#16410234
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (3367)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by kerdersty - Canada

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19734) - you deserved it (3367)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

#20815101
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46705) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/01/2013 at 11:18am - work - by are these people even HUMAN? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (3367)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43394) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you deserved it (3365)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

#6215205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (3365)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm - health - by Elizabeh (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

#6578691
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by friendless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML

#19028650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm - love - by c -



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