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Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33637) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (3150)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35596) - you deserved it (3150)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

#11866175
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (3150)

On 07/14/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Depressed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (3150)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

#10629274
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (3149)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:19pm - love - by Amy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

#13252455
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23211) - you deserved it (3149)

On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (3149)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

#15999869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30351) - you deserved it (3149)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28929) - you deserved it (3149)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58167) - you deserved it (3149)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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