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Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (3119)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41651) - you deserved it (3119)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61756) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47014) - you deserved it (3118)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (3117)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (3117)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML

#14249095
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (3116)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

#15702411
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41444) - you deserved it (3116)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:02am - love - by WhatTheBleep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

#18504719
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (3116)

On 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm - work - by thathottchickk - United States (Washington)



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