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Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, I called out "personal" from work because I had to study for a major test that is taking place tomorrow. An hour later my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously", then I got an email that the test is being postponed. FML

#9081511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26500) - you deserved it (3836)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:13pm - work - by Laurendorcus - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46417) - you deserved it (3836)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

#17757817
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (3836)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40867) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42650) - you deserved it (3836)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

#21234971
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48499) - you deserved it (3836)

On 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm - work - by poorman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42086) - you deserved it (3836)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (3836)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a raise. A 10 cent raise. I have worked at my job for over 3 years. I now make 20 cents more an hour than people that have only worked there 3 minutes. FML

#4586443
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42787) - you deserved it (3835)

On 08/16/2009 at 11:19pm - work - by fmjob (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

#6389255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (3835)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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