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Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (3843)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M and M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

#19016229
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (3843)

On 02/07/2012 at 3:11am - money - by kirstiexoxo (woman) - United States

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25903) - you deserved it (3842)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend's response to my question about where our relationship was going was, "Let me check what my Celtic Runes have to say about it." FML

#18434296
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (3842)

On 12/05/2011 at 3:05am - love - by me - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (3842)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (3842)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54310) - you deserved it (3842)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

#2273679
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70755) - you deserved it (3841)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by nadette (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML

#6619403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (3841)

On 12/05/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by paula434 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27457) - you deserved it (3840)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

#13536174
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (3840)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:48am - health - by catattack78 (man) - United States (Maryland)



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