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Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43992) - you deserved it (3632)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (3631)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54034) - you deserved it (3631)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22864) - you deserved it (3631)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours. FML

#14279972
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

#17948133
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49501) - you deserved it (3631)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48659) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

#21125786
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46666) - you deserved it (3631)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

#2903036
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (3630)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by brutality (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (3630)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada



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