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Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

#21227050
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (3257)

On 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39407) - you deserved it (3257)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (3256)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39853) - you deserved it (3256)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31072) - you deserved it (3256)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20703) - you deserved it (3256)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (3255)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

#3935872
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57936) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36642) - you deserved it (3255)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

#9178637
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28610) - you deserved it (3254)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

#14427876
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:50pm - love - by drfrogpepper (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37281) - you deserved it (3254)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -



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