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Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

#20805698
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52345) - you deserved it (3415)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:47am - misc - by Odnel (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54560) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML

#21209168
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41398) - you deserved it (3415)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:04pm - work - by AFH2O - United States (California)

Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML

#21255044
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43793) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/09/2014 at 12:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (3414)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

#15844059
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (3414)

On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48875) - you deserved it (3414)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44311) - you deserved it (3413)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40152) - you deserved it (3413)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58937) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)



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