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Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67320) - you deserved it (3225)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (3225) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

#16605766
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42259) - you deserved it (3225)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Mirorbo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (3225)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51850) - you deserved it (3224)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

#5485912
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38725) - you deserved it (3224)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by bachelor (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40398) - you deserved it (3224)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my step-mom informed me that she and my dad will not be attending my wedding because they will be at a NASCAR race. FML

#12663979
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40981) - you deserved it (3224)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25pm - misc - by puppielover - United States

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (3224)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

#16542876
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you deserved it (3224)

On 06/07/2011 at 5:28am - love - by S. Tucker - United States

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (3224)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States



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