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Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (3292)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

#14552132
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (3292)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33753) - you deserved it (3292)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (3292)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

#16687724
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38938) - you deserved it (3291)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Ari (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (3291)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (3291)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41766) - you deserved it (3291)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40890) - you deserved it (3290)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

#16418621
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (3289)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

#20854690
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34687) - you deserved it (3289)

On 08/26/2013 at 1:51am - work - by luvmypony (woman) - United States (California)



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