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Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40644) - you deserved it (3265)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

#19335600
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (3264)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (3264)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (3264)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

#21078463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42396) - you deserved it (3264)

On 03/05/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML

#14034734
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34005) - you deserved it (3263)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:50am - love - by tattooed (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML

#14764680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38884) - you deserved it (3263)

On 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm - misc - by copper - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

#16043135
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:50am - love - by ohmylantis (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

#18458740
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26675) - you deserved it (3263)

On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32663) - you deserved it (3263)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (3263)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37801) - you deserved it (3263)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

#6748565
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24811) - you deserved it (3262)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:12am - work - by BadKitty42 (man) - United States (Oregon)



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