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Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (1604)
On 08/22/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by kris (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14165) - you deserved it (1604)
On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (1604)
On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my two best friends decided to boycott Valentine's Day, ditching their boyfriends to hang out together. Not only am I single, but I wasn't invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (1603)
On 02/14/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (1603)
On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (1603)
On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you deserved it (1603)
On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)
Today, I went for my daily post-op doctor's appointment, where I was told I can resume normal activities. Which was handy when I came home to half-an-inch of water throughout my apartment, due to my washing machine drainage pipe coming undone while I was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (1603)
On 03/27/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by Soggy Sophia - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to me crying because he was sexually harassing her at work. When I told her I'd intervene, she told me she'd handle it. I guess she certainly did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (1602)
On 09/11/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22366) - you deserved it (1602)
On 01/08/2012 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (1601)
On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -
Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (1601)
On 05/09/2012 at 10:40am - misc - by calidreaming - Japan (Osaka)
Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14649) - you deserved it (1601)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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