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Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35770) - you deserved it (3486)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

#20951618
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42267) - you deserved it (3486)

On 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (3486)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30939) - you deserved it (3486)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37110) - you deserved it (3485)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (3485)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

#1653487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47159) - you deserved it (3484)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

#6253636
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28715) - you deserved it (3484)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:55am - money - by whoawhat (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

#14271579
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39651) - you deserved it (3484)

On 12/20/2010 at 11:15am - love - by pinkfloyd777 -

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27514) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

#15930581
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41844) - you deserved it (3484)

On 04/26/2011 at 2:18am - love - by SadGuy - United Kingdom

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (3484)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)



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