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Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75838) - you deserved it (3389)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

#16908101
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40569) - you deserved it (3388)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by mymomsstupid - United States

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (3390)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

#12087035
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (3387)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing my dad said to him was "So, how low have you kissed?" FML

#14559001
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (3387)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

#19842330
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (3387)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

#20870135
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (3387)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

#3927246
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60038) - you deserved it (3386)

On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

#5716873
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17133) - you deserved it (3386)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:41am - intimacy - by JD (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML

#4756705
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (3386)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

#11329600
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (3386)

On 06/20/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Sam - Sent from mobile version

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44735) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (3386)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)



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