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Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39218) - you deserved it (3536)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

#21209204
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (3536)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

#806381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65422) - you deserved it (3535)

On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

#5601325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (3535)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40654) - you deserved it (3535)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (3534)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26983) - you deserved it (3535)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34666) - you deserved it (3534)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

#12187023
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33765) - you deserved it (3533)

On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

#18422045
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (3533)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)



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