Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17713) - you deserved it (2655)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18031) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a serious discussion with my girlfriend of 11 months. I broke the news that I was diagnosed with Lymphoma and I needed her support through my treatments. Ten minutes after, I receive a text saying that she can't endure the pain and stress that I'm causing her, and that we're done. FML

#4418486
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60051) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Very_Bad_Luck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

#13713440
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38560) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21148) - you deserved it (2654)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37993) - you deserved it (2654)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

#6041227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (2653)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:19pm - work - by uglyyyyy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Today, I was the only passenger on a completely booked flight to have all their luggage left behind in another country. FML

#16592399
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (2654)

On 06/10/2011 at 7:40am - misc - by leftbehind (man) - Colombia (Antioquia)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36477) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36975) - you deserved it (2653)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: