Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

#13442719
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27608) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

#19633395
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (3453)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40937) - you deserved it (3453)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36188) - you deserved it (3453)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41700) - you deserved it (3453)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the coffee shop for my usual morning latte before class. When I got my drink, I asked again to make sure it was soy. The barista assured me it was. It wasn't. I'm ridiculously lactose intolerant and just spent six hours throwing up because she was too lazy to correct her mistake. FML

#5564287
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (3452)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:12am - health - by sick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32893) - you deserved it (3452)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

#17479569
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (3452)

On 08/15/2011 at 10:45am - love - by single lady - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

#19958664
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (3452)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (3452)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50282) - you deserved it (3452)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

#7121282
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32443) - you deserved it (3451)

On 01/03/2010 at 4:56am - love - by CP19JK12KH (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: