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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

#18969036
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (3860)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

#20536687
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (3860)

On 03/09/2013 at 4:05am - work - by hairdresser (woman) - Australia

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41602) - you deserved it (3860)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

#21203953
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (3860)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

#20107387
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (3859)

On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62298) - you deserved it (3859)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42015) - you deserved it (3859)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26849) - you deserved it (3858)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

#3084574
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49449) - you deserved it (3858)

On 06/21/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

#6113652
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34616) - you deserved it (3858)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML

#20992504
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41410) - you deserved it (3858)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:05pm - misc - by take a fucking seat, gran (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML

#21162885
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48566) - you deserved it (3858)

On 06/04/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by Off_Road (man) - United States (Alaska)



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