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Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML

#21086597
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (3404)

On 03/14/2014 at 3:40pm - work - by fucked (man) - Canada

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78056) - you deserved it (3403)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

#14608702
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34310) - you deserved it (3403) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (3403)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (3402)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML

#16031811
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40234) - you deserved it (3402)

On 05/03/2011 at 12:32pm - love - by moetplease - Singapore

Today, after scouring my apartment for quarters to do laundry, I found the correct amount of change. The change got jammed in the washing machine. I now have no more quarters, and my clothes are caked with soap from washing them in the sink. FML

#20524387
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (3402)

On 02/27/2013 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59152) - you deserved it (3402)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

#3100953
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51278) - you deserved it (3401)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm - work - by blahpizzablah (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44191) - you deserved it (3401)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (3401)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML

#13537092
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31655) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27294) - you deserved it (3401) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France



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