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Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23315) - you deserved it (3315)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

#18060058
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/24/2011 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (3315)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I found why exactly my clothes always seemed more stretched out after about a week of owning them. My mom steals and wears them when she goes clubbing. My mom is 46, twice my size, and gets out more than me. FML

#4359273
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (3314)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:31am - misc - by Crazyyyymomentsss (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML

#7215192
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (3314)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29605) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

#15931079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30628) - you deserved it (3314)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (3314)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

#19633395
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (3314)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54620) - you deserved it (3314)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML

#21116653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (3314)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by you'vegotmail(not) - United States (California)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20718) - you deserved it (3313)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45140) - you deserved it (3313)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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