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Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML

#21440955
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (3882)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by distracted - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I listened as my ridiculously wealthy friend excitedly rambled on and on about her latest shopping trip. This is the same friend who owes me £150, and accused me of being insensitive for asking her to repay it at some point. FML

#17928398
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (3881)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:02pm - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38985) - you deserved it (3881)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61704) - you deserved it (3880)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML

#18840914
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29844) - you deserved it (3880)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

#20015148
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (3880)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (3880)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (3880)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62442) - you deserved it (3879)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She has been there all day. FML

#4255105
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48602) - you deserved it (3879)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:16pm - work - by Azcrazy (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61438) - you deserved it (3879)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36117) - you deserved it (3879)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML



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