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Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18889) - you deserved it (3207)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

#19315463
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (3207)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (3207)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18205) - you deserved it (3207)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37898) - you deserved it (3207)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

#6865910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21055) - you deserved it (3206)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by fml333 (woman) - Saudi Arabia

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (3206)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long distance relationship and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML

#14871372
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32549) - you deserved it (3206)

On 02/06/2011 at 7:58pm - love - by dumbass -

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39355) - you deserved it (3206)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39245) - you deserved it (3205)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

#14211022
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (3204)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML

#17498431
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (3204)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:13am - misc - by howtragic - Australia (Queensland)



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