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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33379) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML

#15768228
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40429) - you deserved it (3245)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by CollegeBoy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61177) - you deserved it (3245)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

#21236314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (3245)

On 08/13/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ragingwaffles - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

#12332951
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Tired (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

#20500417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33900) - you deserved it (3244)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

#12913788
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (3243)

On 09/05/2010 at 4:14am - love - by ohmydog (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML

#13956105
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31933) - you deserved it (3243)

On 11/23/2010 at 11:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

#20624598
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51452) - you deserved it (3243)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

#20738899
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45405) - you deserved it (3243)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by lehonj49 (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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