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Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (3381)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML

#3208136
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59018) - you deserved it (3380)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by dazedandconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (3380)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46793) - you deserved it (3380)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36912) - you deserved it (3380)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

#15084705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (3379)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States

Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML

#17159323
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (3379)

On 07/18/2011 at 3:09am - misc - by fthislyfe (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31666) - you deserved it (3378)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37042) - you deserved it (3378)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

#17965522
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34738) - you deserved it (3378)

On 10/12/2011 at 2:11am - love - by anonymous - Canada

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42082) - you deserved it (3378)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51391) - you deserved it (3378)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States



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