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Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you deserved it (1665)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

#20042043
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (1665)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:03am - love - by wtf - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

#20527319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19703) - you deserved it (1665)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

#7198357
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (1664)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

#8329398
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (1664)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:26am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

#11246854
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (1664)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was working at the hospital front desk when an elderly man started hurling racial slurs at another visitor. A fight broke out, so I stepped in and forcibly separated the two. The old man tripped and crashed to the floor. Now I'm under investigation for "contributing to workplace violence." FML

#17380808
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19765) - you deserved it (1664)

On 08/05/2011 at 7:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML

#13141247
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (1663)

On 09/21/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

#17974360
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20295) - you deserved it (1663)

On 10/13/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by pillowless (woman) - United States

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (1663)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

#5914155
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30030) - you deserved it (1662)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:35pm - work - by ShayanFCB (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (1662)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I lost my job for taking an unauthorized vacation. I just got married and requested time off for the wedding and honeymoon months ago; it was approved then. They forgot, and then got angry because I didn't remind them. I did remind them, the day before I left. FML

#18316081
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30988) - you deserved it (1662)

On 11/22/2011 at 11:20am - work - by lostwife - United States



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