Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML

#21014729
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (3298)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:24pm - misc - by Frustrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

#13497431
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18209) - you deserved it (3297)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

#16525568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31520) - you deserved it (3297)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by rapturezz - United States

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (3297)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (3297)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (3297)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

#21058102
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44032) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38218) - you deserved it (3297)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML

#109688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53658) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by jet8725 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33792) - you deserved it (3296)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML

#12959581
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (3295)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - money - by schoolkiddo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

#12475653
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35999) - you deserved it (3295)

On 08/12/2010 at 10:50am - work - by leonieNL (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: