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Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23416) - you deserved it (77927)
On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14195) - you deserved it (77568)
On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but in fact, it wasn’t her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (77355)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:25am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I barely pass my physics test with a 52. With anger I tore up the test in many small pieces and threw it out. As the class was taking the test up, the teacher found a mistake in the marking and asked us to return them back to him so he can change our grade. I would have gotten an 80. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12250) - you deserved it (76982)
On 03/31/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19446) - you deserved it (76925)
On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16025) - you deserved it (76756)
On 03/17/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by sandy (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21178) - you deserved it (76729)
On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12502) - you deserved it (76706)
On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mistress called my wife on the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4516) - you deserved it (76645)
On 12/16/2008 at 12:20am - misc - by surfdown - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22433) - you deserved it (76629)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you deserved it (76409)
On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (76213)
On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9035) - you deserved it (76152)
On 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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