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Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9078) - you deserved it (103909)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

#757455
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9014) - you deserved it (103647)

On 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm - misc - by lisa321 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14290) - you deserved it (103628)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (103521)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (102985)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

#865761
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8638) - you deserved it (102087)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11481) - you deserved it (102066)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14459) - you deserved it (101627)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (101240)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

#187385
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14729) - you deserved it (101182)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML

#278452
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (101022)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (100892)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9616) - you deserved it (100850)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States



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