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Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12596) - you deserved it (105849)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8498) - you deserved it (105812)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15043) - you deserved it (105515)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

#5527789
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8614) - you deserved it (105440)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML

#278452
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20153) - you deserved it (105162)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16299) - you deserved it (104923)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13171) - you deserved it (104856)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9672) - you deserved it (104749)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

#187385
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15664) - you deserved it (104736)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

#757455
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (104556)

On 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm - misc - by lisa321 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (104462)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22876) - you deserved it (104176)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13766) - you deserved it (103608)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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