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Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (81340)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10761) - you deserved it (81292)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5727) - you deserved it (81104)
On 07/08/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by AmberKCole (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10754) - you deserved it (80762)
On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18436) - you deserved it (80594)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -
Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10457) - you deserved it (80412)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4708) - you deserved it (80342)
On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)
Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6802) - you deserved it (80108)
On 06/30/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10012) - you deserved it (79974)
On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (79739)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34337) - you deserved it (79634)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)
Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10693) - you deserved it (79617)
On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by alieyoubelieve (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6606) - you deserved it (79439)
On 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm - misc - by lisa321 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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