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Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (98677)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5888) - you deserved it (98666)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17700) - you deserved it (98605)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11280) - you deserved it (98546)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

#1900118
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14045) - you deserved it (98524)

On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21791) - you deserved it (98347)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14218) - you deserved it (98004)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

#3370137
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7594) - you deserved it (97722)

On 06/30/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9228) - you deserved it (97643)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

#187385
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13428) - you deserved it (96718)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (96424)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me via text message. The sad thing is that I left my fiancée of 5 years to be with a girl I worked with at Walmart. My ex-fiancée is now a doctor. I still work at Walmart. FML

#14353887
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (96113)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6619) - you deserved it (95597)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)



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