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Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (109113)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15676) - you deserved it (109032)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15214) - you deserved it (108287)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10937) - you deserved it (107291)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12979) - you deserved it (107158)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15590) - you deserved it (106328)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

#4443952
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (106187)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by A.L.Woody - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (106151)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8498) - you deserved it (106054)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML

#278452
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (105514)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

#187385
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15874) - you deserved it (105485)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me via text message. The sad thing is that I left my fiancée of 5 years to be with a girl I worked with at Walmart. My ex-fiancée is now a doctor. I still work at Walmart. FML

#14353887
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (105377)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16312) - you deserved it (104988)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)



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