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Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7464) - you deserved it (82662)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (82495)
On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)
Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14691) - you deserved it (82229)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML
I agree, your life sucks (12650) - you deserved it (82142)
On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6852) - you deserved it (81969)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5114) - you deserved it (81893)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45840) - you deserved it (81867)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4317) - you deserved it (81687)
On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5537) - you deserved it (81675)
On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5020) - you deserved it (81574)
On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (81320)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10755) - you deserved it (81254)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5722) - you deserved it (81069)
On 07/08/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by AmberKCole (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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