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Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

#3919159
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8911) - you deserved it (110881)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:14am - love - by embarrassed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19663) - you deserved it (110617)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30426) - you deserved it (110560)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

#2311636
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14867) - you deserved it (110486)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16623) - you deserved it (110370)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10215) - you deserved it (109951)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15674) - you deserved it (109022)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15050) - you deserved it (108924)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15210) - you deserved it (108286)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

#14578612
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (108237)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10936) - you deserved it (107264)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (107109)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)



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