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Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (122072)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19529) - you deserved it (121877)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (121580)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12626) - you deserved it (121171)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13785) - you deserved it (120938)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

#385410
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (120229)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

#4102567
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (119855)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18121) - you deserved it (119663)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (119436)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9983) - you deserved it (118958)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML

#2344396
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18905) - you deserved it (118363)

On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (118332)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12930) - you deserved it (118131)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)



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