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Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (247384)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30861) - you deserved it (241514)
On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (236750)
On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (228888)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55318) - you deserved it (215889)
On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (214071)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19340) - you deserved it (205123)
On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34751) - you deserved it (203534)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76003) - you deserved it (203366)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12187) - you deserved it (199097)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (197867)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (192748)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85870) - you deserved it (192350)
On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Monday 20 May 2013
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