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Friday 26 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

#20815357
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46097) - you deserved it (4270)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43541) - you deserved it (6127)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML

#20800714
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44584) - you deserved it (4551)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:44am - health - by not_very_smart (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43544) - you deserved it (9728)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally gave away all of the stuffed animals that I've been hoarding for years. Proud, I told my family. They congratulated me by buying me stuffed animals. FML

#20812476
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46436) - you deserved it (4709)

On 07/30/2013 at 11:06pm - misc - by TheSacredTeddyBear (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

#20809873
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (13328)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

#20805698
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52509) - you deserved it (3428)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:47am - misc - by Odnel (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

#20803187
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44907) - you deserved it (3430)

On 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML

#20813192
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50765) - you deserved it (4394)

On 07/31/2013 at 10:15am - work - by Zatnikatel (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

#20817315
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48330) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:58pm - misc - by fuck people (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

#20801510
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (15066)

On 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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