Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45554) - you deserved it (7145)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40029) - you deserved it (2693)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50611) - you deserved it (8684)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47231) - you deserved it (3041)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39832) - you deserved it (5367)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51461) - you deserved it (10591)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49853) - you deserved it (3575)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50244) - you deserved it (3866)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (58217)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40695) - you deserved it (3875)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: