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Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (65830)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44970) - you deserved it (2865)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49765) - you deserved it (10102)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41572) - you deserved it (5823)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45911) - you deserved it (7604)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (5156)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47241) - you deserved it (3350)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49395) - you deserved it (3773)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (3779)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49239) - you deserved it (3633)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37634) - you deserved it (5101)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)



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