Wednesday 6 March 2013 
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Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28799) - you deserved it (2291)
On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States
Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13637) - you deserved it (22878)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28887) - you deserved it (3384)
On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (2335)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)
Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25431) - you deserved it (8138)
On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (6209)
On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (3106)
On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States
Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (2460)
On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States
Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (4833)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States
Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32353) - you deserved it (3608)
On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (6917)
On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan
Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (6235)
On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (4179)
On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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