Sunday 3 March 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31051) - you deserved it (4469)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (4442)
On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (6448)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22917) - you deserved it (1912)
On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27953) - you deserved it (2622)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32651) - you deserved it (1891)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9445) - you deserved it (54597)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (982) - you deserved it (8753)
On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (2695)
On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (1875)
On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (3030)
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (5591)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (1379)
On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
