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Sunday 3 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (5558)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML

#20530332
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (4524)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

#20535562
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (2381)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

#20524030
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (4140)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18137) - you deserved it (38488)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

#20537793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you deserved it (35278)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (5609)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

#20531284
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (11888)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

#20535997
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (4640)

On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

#20536784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (14838)

On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (8971)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25640) - you deserved it (3483)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)



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