Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 27 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33096) - you deserved it (4692)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (9253)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

#20532270
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (5086)

On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (6927) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35583) - you deserved it (8542)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8902) - you deserved it (68387)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36448) - you deserved it (4435)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (3738)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

#20531724
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (4479)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (4037)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (3071)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

#20533752
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (2595)

On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: