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Wednesday 27 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50807) - you deserved it (6072)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43878) - you deserved it (4247)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8834) - you deserved it (67895)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24356) - you deserved it (6580) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12509) - you deserved it (71227)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33618) - you deserved it (3884)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28126) - you deserved it (2894)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34133) - you deserved it (3617)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (6315)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (4215)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43800) - you deserved it (3654)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (8763)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32836) - you deserved it (3428)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States



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