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Sunday 17 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

#20515797
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12294) - you deserved it (40114)

On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

#20517777
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32040) - you deserved it (11370)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33704) - you deserved it (4093)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26827) - you deserved it (3053)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

#20510343
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32339) - you deserved it (2484)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (5374)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24506) - you deserved it (15570)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12439) - you deserved it (38464)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (8186)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26360) - you deserved it (13753)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
78 comments

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

#20504938
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34623) - you deserved it (2364)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (4246)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)



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