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Sunday 17 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35345) - you deserved it (2192)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43129) - you deserved it (9402)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (4489) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (5116)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (32096)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3213)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36319) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7616) - you deserved it (48722)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33821) - you deserved it (7741)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41606) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States



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