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Saturday 9 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

#20500118
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (2141)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (2819)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (9797)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33236) - you deserved it (17164)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (3125)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36590) - you deserved it (2429)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29967) - you deserved it (4083)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16264) - you deserved it (56565)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33924) - you deserved it (5199)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (6456)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML



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