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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Introduced Boyfriend To Overprotective Father. My Boyfriend Started Out With, "Sir, It Is An Honor To Be Your Daughter's Sexual Partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57699) - you deserved it (10911)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad opand a Chinasa fortuna cookia that raad, "Exparianca is tha nama avaryona givas to thair mistakas." Now ha won't stop calling ma Exparianca. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, husband startd a conversation with, ( In Pokémon ) and endd the same conversation with ( and that'shy we should divorce . ) FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

today I laarnad that my big, tough, strong dog is tarrifiad of spidarshan ha jumpad, knockad ovar a tabla and than paad on tha spidar to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (4449)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today I Gave Mah 5-year-old Daughter A Unicorn Pillow Pet. She Endd Up Giving Him An Ill-advisd Name An Has Been Loudly Proclaiming To Everyone She Sees That Her Pillow Pet Is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (4381)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, mah boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond."

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, After Heavy Rain Mah Street Flooded. While In Mah Living Room, I Looked Outside To See That Mah Elderly Neighbour Was Outside Splashing In A Knee Deep Puddle. He Was Butt-naked And Wearing A Snorkel And Flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (3206)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, It's My Boyfriend's Birthday. He Really Likes Legend Of Zelda, So I Putted On A Link Hat, Took My Cloths Off, An Waited 4 Him At His Place. He Came Home With A Hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, A Girl Cummed Up To Me On The Street And Said, "You Have Like No Swag, Bro." Feeling Clever, I Said, "At Least I Have A High School Education." She Then Took Out Her Work ID, Showing Me That She Was A Surgeon, Flipped Me Off, Then Walked Away Saying, "This Is Totally Going On Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (28127)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of looool the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over mah living room. I was eating cereal in mah underwear, in the living room, drectly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42845) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

today I was draggd to a Super Bowl party. Wile tere... te ost's kid trew 3 cups of apple sauce at ma feet... wic ten explodd an coverd ma jeans. 10 minutes later... te ost's wife announcd tat se was pregnant wit twins. All I could come up wit was... "You're making more!?" big fat FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68911) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday I Was Talking To An Attractive Guy, But I Was So Nervous That I Got Tongue-tied And Then Blurted Out, "Stupid Autocorrect." FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (28186)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)



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