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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7596) - you deserved it (40208)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

#20491987
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32379) - you deserved it (1449)

On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

#20485066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (2197)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (4453)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

#20487332
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14640) - you deserved it (37167)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

#20495058
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (5785)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

#20497809
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (7883)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

#20500118
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (1874)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21457) - you deserved it (1582)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (2875)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12417) - you deserved it (49118)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13161) - you deserved it (49512)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)



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