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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31318) - you deserved it (3673)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (4975)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

#20491168
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (7145)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38059) - you deserved it (3423)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28626) - you deserved it (1945)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

#20491267
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (2781)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28929) - you deserved it (2387)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37670) - you deserved it (2681)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (4027)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23337) - you deserved it (2848)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31133) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (38276)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (2086)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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