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Monday 28 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, Ma Grandmoter Walked In On Me Watcing Porn On Ma Computer. Se Looked At Te Woman On Te Screen An Said, ( I Used To Ave Tits Like Tat, But Look Wat Aving 7 Kids Did To Tem. ) Now I'm Scarred Fir Life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (36136)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today..!! I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them!! I played 4 four hours straight..!! only to be interrupted by a phone call!! I didn't answer cuz my sock puppets were ( on a date ) and I didn't want to stop playing!! FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (20466)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

today I was draggd to a Super Bowl party. Wile tere... te ost's kid trew 3 cups of apple sauce at ma feet... wic ten explodd an coverd ma jeans. 10 minutes later... te ost's wife announcd tat se was pregnant wit twins. All I could come up wit was... "You're making more!?" big fat FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend askd me if she looool lookd fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two second away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively trid to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really ned to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (30020)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68911) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I Saw A Ladyho Had Fainted. I Ran Over To Help , Only To Find Out That She Was Unstable An Had A Knife In Her Hand. She Was Pointing It At Me , An Growled Threateningly Every Time I Tried To Move Away. It Took The Cops An Hour To Defuse The Situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today... a male employee at a soe sop elpd me try on soes. Once I found a pair... I went to pay for tem. I was telling te casier about ow great of an employee e was wen se told me tere were no male employees. A guy wit a foot fetis elpd me fine soes. FML

#20489969
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I Was Driving Around With A Faw Friands Whan Ona Of Tham Suggastad Wa Go In To An Insuranca Company's Offica An Sing Thara Jingla!! I'm An Awful Singar, So I Was Planning On Lip Syncing!! Evaryona Alsa Had Tha Sama Idaa!!

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10866) - you deserved it (33581)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , mah grlfriend lost her vrginity. I still have mine , though. FML

#20493004
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52901) - you deserved it (3427)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51365) - you deserved it (14511)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Taday mah mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoe and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)



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