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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday I Met Girlfriend's Dad For Te First Time. His Sirt Said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daugters Dating, Soot Te First One An Word Will Spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (3334)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today someone put ahole packet of glitter on the blade of mah ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticedhen I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flrting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the grl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in yur case, it's a big no." fat FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (41085)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Taday after applying fir a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire ( naturally tan ) people. I'm black. big fat FML

#20470936
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48113) - you deserved it (4081)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

2day the police arrivd at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boyho lookd about 15 huggd me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 yeres old and had never seen this boy looool in my life. mega FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, Mah Hubby Asked 4 A Morning Blow Job, An I Happily Obliged. All Was Going Great Until He Came An Farted At The Same Time. I Laughed An Reassured Him It Was No Big Deal. He Cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (5876)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I played an intense paintball matc, wit me and ma friends versus ma boyfriend and is buddies . Wen we won, ma boyfriend went mental and said e only lost because of "lag" . Wen I pointed out we weren't in a video game, e reacted by fring a paintball straigt into ma cest . FML

#20478409
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (5445)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

I want to my cousin's wadding. Ta groom walkad ovar wan ta two of us wara talking, took ona good look at ma, slappad ma on ta ass, an said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rosa ara, you'd ba naxt." Yaa, about tat: I'm a 16-yaar old guy. fat FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (4154)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I ad to slowly explain to my son tat an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather 4 mah bus!! When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped an fell on the icy ground!! The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time 4 this shit", closing the doors, an driving off!! FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, tha rollarcoastar I was on stuck upsida down for a faw minutas. I shat mysalf in tarror. Than, gravity took affact. raal FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (9833)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

TODAY, A PREGNANT WOMAN GOT ON TE BUS. TERE WERE NO FREE SEATS, SO I STOOD UP TO GIVE ER MINE. AN OBESE MAN PUSD PAST ER, WADDLD OVER, AND OOZD INTO MY SEAT. I SAID IT WAS 4 TE PREGNANT LADY. HE CALLD ME A "SEXIST BITC" AND CLAIMD E NEEDD IT MORE. FML

#20478664
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44340) - you deserved it (2476)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)



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