Monday 21 January 2013 
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Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (4150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (1428)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (2061)
On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (3978)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (10738)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (34193)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (2938)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11679) - you deserved it (33778)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23815) - you deserved it (2460)
On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (2369)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37874) - you deserved it (3550)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17051) - you deserved it (29721)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31555) - you deserved it (1964)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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